Hey guys!  While I am no longer blogging (at least for the time being) I am continuing to write for both clients and other sites!  Recently, I’ve teamed up with Tiny Devotions to create a series on mindful living in our material world.  Over the next few months, I’ll be talking about how we can bring mindfulness to all of our daily activities including social media use, shopping, and even getting drinks at the bar!  It’s a topic that I find so fascinating, and I’m really excited to get the chance to share this message through Tiny Devotions.

If you aren’t already familiar with them, be sure to check out their site!  They make the most beautiful mala bead jewellery and they have really beautiful accessories like journals and crystal candles!

Keep an eye out next month for when we’ll be running a giveaway together!  In the mean time, check out my first post in the series, Living a Mindful Life in a Material World.

xo

Living a Mindful Life in a Material World

My life is probably both better and worse than you think it is.  I can’t put in to words how happy and energized I am at so many points throughout the day- my roommates honestly laugh and roll their eyes at my energy- but I also don’t really talk much about the stress and worry of my life either. I worry about my writing and my future and my finances and as much as I say that things will work out, I’m also really scared sometimes that they won’t.

My friend and I were talking the other day about the two dimensional views that we have of the people that we read about online, and my own friend, someone who I’ve known for years but who doesn’t live in my city and so who I don’t get a chance to talk to on a regular basis, was telling me about how she was inspired by my writing and felt like I had fully formed ideas on some of life’s big issues.

It was so interesting to talk to her about how she viewed my writing versus what was going on “behind the scenes.”

I told her that for every fully formed idea that I might write about on my blog or on social media, there are a thousand doubts or fears or contradictions running through my head on the same subject.

Don’t get me wrong, I mean what I write, but trust me that it’s not as black and white as it might seem. There are so many convoluted thoughts that I never give a voice to. You can think of my writing as a very distilled version of all of the things I think and feel.

Basically what I want to say is that just because I write about my life or my thoughts and feelings publicly, it does not by any means mean that I have anything figured out more than anyone else. It just means that for some reason I’ve chosen to put words to all of the chaos that we’re all experiencing.  We’re all just living life and figuring it out as we go.

I used to hate it- the confusion and the not knowing.  I’m starting (starting– read: not nearly entirely) to get that it’s actually kind of amazing to not know the answers. To experiment with life and figure it out as we go. Because how could it be any different? We aren’t born knowing how to live. We put ourselves out there, we experiment, and we do our best to explain our experiences and share them with others. We put words and explanations to things that are really beyond what our words can explain. It’s our attempt to make sense of things and to share and connect with others.

Any single thing that I write or say is just the tip of the iceberg. Beneath anything I write there is so much more joy and fear and understanding and confusion than I could ever put words to,

I hope you can connect to what I write. I hope it means somethething to you and ignites something in you that you may have not felt before. But more than anything, I hope that my words are just in the background of your own life. Because your thoughts and feelings are so much more valid to you than mine can ever be.

Let’s just live our own lives, experience our true selves, but let’s do it together. Because I think that’s what this is all about. Being ourselves and feeling our truth but yet being part of something bigger.

I know it’s so easy to put out a false persona online but I guess I didn’t really realize anyone actually felt this way about me. That I had some answers that they didn’t or that I had it more together or anything like that because trust me I don’t! I’m scared and worried and confused all the time!!

No one has a manual or any real clue as to how to live. We’re all just figuring it out as we go. All of us. I just happen to write about it.

Photo: PicJumbo

I have a bunch of posts I want to write and for various reasons I haven’t gotten around to writing them, but this post seemed like a good place to start.

I’ve talked about it a few times here before, but since starting my blog over three years ago (!!) I’ve gone back and forth on whether I should be writing at all.  There is just so much information out there, and SO many wellness articles that I have had to ask myself so many times- is it really of benefit to anyone for me to just be adding to this information overload?

I still don’t have a clear answer on how I feel about this, but in the last year or so I have consciously chosen to make changes to what I write about. I don’t want to tell anyone what to do or what to practice, what book they need to read, or why they should adopt my morning routine.  I don’t believe in telling anyone how to live their life and I think the less time we spend basing our decisions on the opinions of others, the more we’ll spend listening to ourselves and discovering our own truths.

I love that quote that says “You are the one you’ve been waiting for.”  It’s so good.  You’re not waiting for the next book or the next lecture or the next psychic reading.  I used to hold my breath for all of these things, sure that I’d find everything I was looking for in someone else’s words.  It never happened, and that was really scary at the time, but ultimately it is just so amazing to know that none of those other things gave me what I was looking for because only I can provide that for myself.

I spent so much time taking what other people recommend at face value without really stopping to see if it felt right for me or if it had a positive impact on my life.  I spent hours pouring over spiritual and wellness blogs, and they left me feeling confused and overwhelmed more often than inspired.  Sometimes, actually a lot of times to be fair, the content did leave me feeling truly inspired, but rather than checking to see if I actually wanted to be doing what the writer suggested, I just went ahead and did it, believing that if it helped that person, it would help me.

I read another quote the other day that I love.  Sandy C. Newbigging says, “confusion comes from overthinking and overmanaging life.”

Reading so many different opinions and ideas can lead you so far away from yourself that you don’t even know what to think anymore.  For so long I felt like my opinions weren’t my own- they were just a mishmash of everything I had read and heard.

So yeah that is my internal debate over writing.  Do I contribute to something that is so oversaturated, or do I just go about my life and keep my opinions to myself?

The thing is, I do love writing-it feels so natural to me, and what I write about feels natural to write.  I kind of can’t imagine not doing it, and I trust that if something feels right, it is right for me to be doing.  Even in the blogging break I took between last November and this spring, I was still writing about all of this stuff, just not on my blog.  I’ve also learned so much and been so inspired and encouraged by other people’s words and experiences that I know there is benefit to sharing your story.

For now, what I’ve decided is this: when I write, I’ll take responsibility as someone who is sharing ideas, and I’ll trust my readers to decide what’s right for them.  I do my best not to write anything that would aim to push my views onto someone else, particularly someone who may be vulnerable, in a difficult place in their life, and is looking for guidance.  I aim to share my story without trying to make my path be anyone else’s path.

As a reader of other people’s content, I’m learning to stop reading something when it’s not feeling right or feels too pushy, and to stop reading altogether when my own voice starts to get overshadowed by the voices of others.  I’ve learned so much from other people, but things got so much clearer for my when I shifted from trusting others with what’s right for me to trusting myself.  And I give credit to anyone who may read my work and trust that they can do the same.

I think writing and reading are ways we can share and grow.  I know they have tremendous value and can connect us and help us to learn more about ourselves and others.  I’m also very aware that there is a lot of content out there that is not really that valuable and contributes to our overwhelm.  Navigating that is something I’ve thought about a lot, and I think I’m starting to find a better balance for myself.

This is a really rambling post, and I hope it wasn’t too convoluted.  I don’t have fully formed conclusions on the subject, so I find it difficult to write about it in a really concise way.  Consider this post as a way for me to think out loud.

I’ll finish by suggesting that you read things that inspire you and put down anything that doesn’t (including my blog if that’s what’s right for you!  I promise I won’t be offended :p ).  Read to the extent that it benefits you but always remember that your truth and wisdom exit in YOU, not in anything or anyone else.  Lastly, don’t let it be too complicated.  We really don’t need millions of articles on what to eat, how to meditate, and which crystals to have on our altars.  Getting in touch with yourself and your own voice will tell you so much more than any blog post or article ever can.

I’d love to hear from you if this is something that you can relate to or if you have anything you want to add! It’s a conversation I’m really interested in and would love to chat more about.

I’m the kind of person that can go from swearing off alcohol forever to being like “let’s swap our cereal milk for Baileys!”  Balance is something I’ve always struggled with and this has made itself very apparent in the ways I incorporate wellness and spirituality into my life.

I’d either be reading every self help book I could find or giving away all of my books and binge watching Parks and Rec.  I’d vacillate between getting up early in the morning to make green juice every day and stocking up on chocolate bar flavoured coffee creamer.

For a long time I just had a very all-or-nothing attitude towards a spiritual lifestyle, and neither end of the extreme would leave me feeling very satisfied.  I either felt limited by an overly strict practice or like a bit of a hot mess when I’d “rebel” from my austere rules.

More recently though, I’ve started taking on a more balanced approach.  This is the logical thing to do, but it seemed like a really novel idea to me when I first considered it.  I just kind of thought I had to be all in or not in at all, and I think I was so used to trying to follow other people’s spiritual guidelines that I forgot I could actually create my own.

Your life is your design, and only you really know what works for you.  Finding this balance is a process of experimentation, but it also allows you to learn more about yourself.  What inspires you?  What limits you?  What are you willing to change, and what do you want to keep?  Are you willing to put faith in yourself and your own wisdom?

A spiritual life and a “regular” life aren’t actually separate things; it can just feel that way because there are a lot of actions that characterize what it means to “be spiritual.”  But really there are no actions that are more spiritual than the other.  Spiritual to me means doing what is right for me and living, or intending to live, from my heart.

So maybe every book you’ve read says that alcohol and spirituality don’t mix.  But how does that book really know what’s right for you?  Do you want to go out and drink?  Is it fun and does it lead to great adventures and funny stories?  Or does it leave you feeling depleted, sad, or anxious.  Consuming alcohol is a neutral event- it’s what it does to you and how you feel about it that matters.

Maybe every wellness blog in the world raves about green smoothies like they’re the second coming.  But do you really feel good when you drink them?  Or do you just think you do because the visual of all of those greens sinking into your cells makes you feel clean and good.  I used to start every day with a big green smoothie, thinking it was really the only sensible way to start my day, until I started accepting that a) they hurt my stomach, and b) health did not begin with the invention of the Vitamix.  If they truly make you feel good, drink up.  If they actually don’t, I promise you your health will not suffer if you let them go.

When I first learned about the chemicals in our beauty products, I got rid of everything and spent hours researching the perfect natural products.  For me, that ended up causing more stress than benefit.  Over time I did end up finding some amazing natural products, but I also think I let it stress me out way more than it needed to.  Giving up my homemade deodorant and going back to regular store bought chemical filled brands actually felt like a huge weight off of my shoulders and a radical act of rebellion and self love.

I don’t want to saddle myself with rules and restrictions and narrow ideas of what it means to live a spiritual life.  I want to be real.  I want to be able to be sad or mad or apathetic without feeling like I need to cover it up with affirmations and positive thoughts.  I love to meditate and do Pilates, but yoga doesn’t do it for me, and I’d be fine never stepping foot into a yoga studio again.  I want to use natural products, but sometimes I just want to put on lipstick and nail polish and not worry about whether or not I’m breathing in carcinogens and shortening my lifespan (though I do always buy cruelty-free products- that’s a decision that is right for me).

I think we’re so used to reading wellness articles and advice that it can be hard to hear our own true voices.  It’s almost like a bit of a brainwashing at times.  I assumed for a long time that I loved green smoothies and yoga and that I wanted to be a Health Coach.  Until I realized I actually really really didn’t.  So I started asking myself what I truly wanted, and it took awhile to hear it.  But I started trusting myself and listening, and I continue to be surprised at what really works for me.

So yeah, that’s how I think we balance a spiritual life with “regular” life.  By listening to ourselves and realizing that wellness and spirituality are not a one size fits all situation.  We have our own hearts and brains and souls for a reason, and it’s so we can discover what is right for us.  We are our own user manual and only we can discover the path that is right for us.

I’ve actually written about this topic of finding your own spirituality many times before.  If you want to read more, check out the following

• Letting Go of My Metaphysical Security Blanket
• The Spiritual Side of Being a Hot Mess
• The Quest to Fix Myself
• You Don’t have to Do “Spiritual Things” to be Spiritual
• How I Became Addicted to Wellness + What it Took to Heal